To Need or To Want

I don't know why this came in my mind but I've been wondering if I would rather be needed or wanted by the people in my life. I've decided that the only person I have enough patience to be consistently needed by will be my future child. I think it's better to be wanted by people than needed. Neediness breeds resentment to me. Don't get it twisted tho, I love helping people. Something in me gets agitated when people repeatedly ask me for shit because they know I will always say yes. Something annoys me when people rest on their grind and become dependent on me. People easily try to take advantage of me but I'm not the type that will stand for it. To me it means more when someone genuinely WANTS my company and everything I bring.

On the other hand I don't like being dependent on people. When I tell people "You are in my life because I want you here, not because I need you.", it's often not taken the right way. I have to explain that to me I value the intangible aspects of that they bring. In a world where people want to use people to get something out of the relationship I would rather just know the person. Of course I use people to get what I need because that's human nature. People rely on people. But when I use people there is never a pretense of friendship, both parties get something out of the deal, and after the deal is done I usually make moves that build upon the help I recieved so that I don't constantly become a burden on the one who helped me. I don't mix business and pleasure.

I don't really no what the purpose of the post was. I just let the thoughts flow out of my fingertips. This is pretty raw at the moment. Maybe later I will refine my thoughts but for right now I'm happy with what I wrote.