Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Culmination of an Infatuation

One of my good friends came over for a visit the other night. We were shooting the breeze and watching tv like we normally did when I would go over his house for a visit. I can't quite explain what really happened but I can't forget what I felt as we talked. We talked about our past and the shit that we always wanted to say but never did because we were really young and really shy. This particular day we were no longer the two kids sitting next to each other in Mr. Porter's Science class playing Pokemon when we should've been paying attention to the presentation. I was no longer the tomboy that chased basketball dreams. He was no longer the 16 year old that was living too fast for his own good. I was no longer the 19 year old that was in love with him. He was no longer the 19 year old that was troubled. We were here. We were grown. We were experienced. The tension was in the air and we both knew what was going to go down. He had to make a trip to that 7-11 on the corner.

While he was gone I had time to actually think about what was about to take place. This was the one that I always thought about. I wondered what sex with him would be like way before I even had a sexual experience. He's the one that I thought I would give my virginity to. He's the same dude that I kissed under stairwells at Curtiss when I should've been in class. He's the one I experimented with in high school. We never hit that homerun and I didn't think we ever would. Our paths took us to different places. I've experienced different things and I'm sure he has as well. In my selectivness I've grown accustomed to certain levels of satisfaction. Doubt crept in. What if I was wack? What if he was disappointing? I had to shake this shit. I knew what I was doing. I knew I would regret not fulfilling this curiosity way more than if I did. My buzzer rang. It was time.

I had to ask what took him so long. He said he was conflicted for lack of a better word. I understood what he meant but he rung that doorbell for a reason and we both knew what time it was. He sat on my couch and I took control from there. We went at it HARD. All the anxiety I had while he ran that errand vanished. He let go of his inhibitions as well and it made for a really good time. His body was telling me things and I was listening. I was yearning for this because I was on a hiatus and he gave me what I asked for. I tried a few positions I had been wanting to try. I allowed him to teach me some new tricks. We talked shit. We fell silent. We took each other to the breaking point more than a few times. I have climaxed more during past escapades but never as hard. This was incomprable. We danced until we were spent. The next day when we woke from that deep sleep we had only one regret. "I should've got two packs."

Now that my curiosity has been filled I don't know what will come of this. I'm cool if our experience was like Hailey's commet, never to be seen again in this lifetime. Part of me wants it like that just in case it's never as good as the first time. I don't know if that perfect storm of passion, desire, and heat will pass through again. Then the other part of me wants to see if we could top it. All I know is that I'm still sore. History was written. A memory was etched. And me and my body won't forget it.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I'm Coming Back Soon...

I moved and I'm tryna find some cheap Internet. I have so much to say. Even if I have to keep posting from my phone for a while I'm gonna get it in. Until we meet again (aka I go to my grandmothers house for Internet).

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Opinions, Suggestions, and Commentary

I'm not a big fan of unsolicited opinions, suggestions or commentary. As a matter of fact it is one of the many things that send me on edge. Nothing makes me turn into the biggest bitch you've ever seen than offering something I've never asked for in the first place. Today I was minding my own business when a classmate tells me, "I noticed you wear Nikes a lot, did you know they are mostly produced in sweat shops?" I am highly aware that Nikes are produced in sweat shops. What I am not aware of is why this dude just tried to impose his views on me indirectly. I don't know him. I don't speak to him. I couldn't pick him out of a line up yet he felt the need to offer up a fun fact about the shoes. I responded, "I noticed I was minding my own business and didn't ask you to research my shoes. I know how to use google. By the way, that is a nice hat you are wearing. Tiger Woods huh? A Nike hat. Probably made upstairs in the factory where these Air Forces came from. Good shit." He proceeded to his seat.

My grandmother is a good one for offering commentary. She always ask me if I can do something we both know I can do. She sometimes treats me as if I'm just learning how to use a toilet. Today I was washing my clothes. She says, "You washed them. Good job. Now let's see if you know how to put them in a dryer and hang them up?" WHAT THE FUCK? She might as well said, "Good job. You tinkled. Now can you wipe and flush?" I can't stand my intelligence being insulted. This is why clash. That's for another day, another post. She and I have to work through that issue before I can speak on that.

I am not a suggestion box. Do not place your thoughts in my brain space. I also don't need people asking me for my suggestion or opinion when they have their mind made up. If you know what you are going to do just do it. I'm not the friend you come to when you want your ego stroked or your opinion second. If I wouldn't do it then I'm going to tell you so and give your my justification. After that you can take it or leave it but please do not talk shit about it. After all you asked, I did not offer.