If One More Person....

This is a flat the fuck out rant. Inspired by ignorance, driven by lack of desire to educate yourself. So I have locs. When I first got them my then loctician told me that this would test me and build my character. Granted I did my little research but the bottom line was I thought the style would look good on me and I was tired of the Eurocentric ideals of beauty that I was forced to try to attain when we all know that it can't be reached. I'm not of those people that is all high and mighty. I still wear acrylics, I plan on dying my shit, and I shave and all that good stuff. Hell, sometimes I see a bitch with her hair so properly laid the hell out that I have to give her propers. I'm all for what fits a person. If you look gorgeous with a short hair cut, then get at it. If you are your prettiest and most confident with a weave the go for it. It just so happens that loc's fit me best. Cool. Now it's time for me to get to the point.

I HATE DUMB ASS QUESTIONS ABOUT MY HAIR! I only give a pass to people who are not black and even that pass is limited. Here is a short list of the questions that test the fuck out of my patience. I have a loose tongue and these make me pause before answering to make sure I don't hurt no feelings.

1) When are you going to take your hair down?
You fuck face, there is no taking these down. My strands are so intertwined with each other only a comb handled by God could separate them.

2) Do you wash your hair?
*blank stare* No. I just like to let dandruff, sweat, and dust clog up my scalp.

3) What part of Jamaica are you from?
I have never been to a place that I had to cross water to get to. That's nothing to brag about because it means I'm geographically challenged but the point I'm making is I'm from L.A California. Not everybody with loc's is from Jamaica, and not every Jamaican has loc's.

4) You sale weed? No? Oh I thought because of your hair you was a rasta.
What. The. Fuck? Ok, I will admit that I have blown some of Cali's finest trees. You aren't really from L.A until u party with the aliens...but I am far from a rasta. As a matter of fact I don't think I've done anything stronger than a hookah since I got loc'd.

5) Did you feel that?
Ummmm *punches you in the throat* did you feel that shit? Of course I felt you tug my damn loc. If you aren't invited (read: my stylist or my dude) to touch my head please refrain from doing so. Not only are you invading my space but you are invading my space. I only allow a select few people to touch me. Strangers are never allowed to touch me. I know it's silly but handshakes make my skin do crazy things. It's all mental but still. So someone touching my hair drives me nuts.


I don't go around asking people with weaves silly questions like, "How did you get the hair on the weft? Or, "Does it matter what color string you sew the hair in with?" I don't ask people if their pubic hair changes color when they dye the hair on their head. You see how asinine these questions are?