I hate my job. It was no secret and every friend on my Facebook page knew it. I added people who I thought I could trust on my facebook. Whenever I felt something I went to facebook. I was everyone's must read post because I said whatever was on my mind. I said whatever happened to me good or bad. I was always honest. I liked facebook because of the instant feedback. I would post something and instantly a conversation could be started. Be it a debate, someone virtually laughing, someone encouraging me, or someone letting me know that they have been there I got a reaction. I was able to reveal sides of me to people who only got to see me in certain settings. Ironically the reason I love facebook is the reason I left it.
One of my high school friends and coworkers got caught up in some shit at work because of facebook. Her post was child's play compared to what I post. Someone she trusted enough to allow in her personal thoughts reported her to someone at work and before she knew it she was under investigation. What kind of shit is that? It just really got me thinking. 1) You can't trust people. 2) You aren't free to say what you want, even if it's the truth. 3) I realized why I'm private. I only expose myself to the few people close to me. It was fun socially mingling for the couple years I had my facebook but in the end I'm not for the masses. The craziest thing is that I would have people that never posted on facebook comment to me in real life about something I posted. At first it would creep me out but then I realized people are really afraid to let other people know what's on their mind.
Facebook has been my addiction and my muse but now it's over. There is a silver lining in all of this though. Number one I'll get back to my original muse. This blog. I'm glad I never compromised my blog. It's still confidential. No pics, no name. I can and will be as free as I want to without having to censor myself. Censorship kills me. I will never censor myself. Number two is I'll finally be so bored that I'll have to get out of the house. Number three is I will have my heir of mystery back. I realize that people chit and chat about me. Before facebook there was no way to confirm their suspicions. People use to search my fb to prove or disprove their theories. Now that's out the window.
*I know this post is poorly constructed and all over the place but I just had to jump back into things.